I am very hard to get along with regardless who you are in my life.
Including me.
I am not often as hard on others as I have been on you.
Long term, though, perhaps others would disagree.
When you open to me, I end up becoming frustrated and angry.
I get mean.
You want my Cary Grant.
Back to cutting.
Slice-and-dice me.
Me, full-on? No one can hack it.
Including me.
What frustrates me is your situation.
What angers me is my inability to do shit about it.
I can’t help, so it seems I harm.
It’s my lashing out at that we both find so hurtful.
It’s also incredibly stupid.
I think of people like you and me and it fills me with despair.
I know the world is viciously hostile to us.
Feels hopeless when I allow myself to see it.
I attack myself through you.
Knowing I hurt you hurts me.
It is like cutting but crueler.
If I let you be my heart I’d stab you to kill myself.
This cannot ever work out well.
We try and keep trying.
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